Browse Month: February 2016

Job posting English broken

Here’s an actual email from someone applying for a job at Zing:

Have nice day!

I used to be just wondering if you obtain a chance to discover through my previous email as I would certainly not hear back from you yet.

Have you offered any additional consideration to my proposal? I’d end up being happy to chat in the phone and solution any questions which may well have come up.

What does your schedule appearance like this week to?

Do you want any kind of update regrades this?

Make sure you let me know the views.

Seriously?

BYU or the other BYU?

I was at a party tonight, and Kyra sent me a text from home.

Screenshot_2016-02-20-20-59-31

She’d been accepted to BYU-Idaho a couple of months ago, and has been waiting to hear from BYU-Provo. Apparently they made announcements today on the web site, so she decided to check.

Now she has to decide which one to attend…

Taxes part 1

And that’s a wrap.

taxes-done

My corporate taxes are finished and on their way to the Gov.

Now it’s on to the adventure of my personal taxes. The big question– as it is every year– is whether I owe money or have been giving the Gov an interest-free loan for the last year…

Seagull Management

We’ve been working on a project for a few months, and it’s just ballooned way beyond what anyone originally envisioned. The client keeps delaying the launch because another person somewhere in the management chain has a new idea or wants to tweak some little thing.

Finally, in a moment of frustration, I emailed my contact at the company and explained that I’m just not sure how best to proceed. Since she’s in charge of the budget and we’ve already exceeded what she’d allocated, twice, I want to be respectful of that. Her response was, verbatim:

It’s typical for my boss.  The Seagull Management Philosophy:  Swoop in and poop all over everything, then leave.

Brilliant.

Happy eclairs to me

Of course yesterday was my birthday, and as we were out at dinner (pizza, naturally) Kyra asked if I’d like her to make me a special treat. She knows chocolate eclairs are my favorite dessert, although caramel-frosted chocolate cupcakes are also near the top of the list.

I told her that eclairs are a lot of work, but she insisted. So we picked up a few ingredients on the way home, and I kept her company in the kitchen while she made them.

eclair

Not surprisingly, they were awesome. What a great daughter.

Tax? On the internet?

Well, it’s the end of an era. Amazon is now officially collecting tax on orders placed via the internet.

amazon-tax

Remember the good ol’ days when you’d save a few bucks buying things online? (Well, technically you’re supposed to report those purchases to the Gov and pay the appropriate taxes, but I’d love to meet the guy who actually does that.)

Google Fit

I installed the Google Fit app on my phone yesterday, just to play around with it and see how it compares to an old-school pedometer. It turns out the step count is pretty close– within about 5%– and it has some other cool features like average speed, history, and of course maps.

Today I walked over to a friend’s house, and the resulting map makes it look like I was in some kind of spastic drunken stupor.

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I’m pretty sure that’s not the path I took, although the start and end points are accurate. Maybe my pocket blocks the GPS signal or something, I don’t know…

Sunday cookies

A couple of weeks ago, we decided that every Sunday we’d have a “family activity” where we make a batch of cookies and take them to someone… a friend or neighbor. So today I finished up my lasagna while Zack and Kyra took responsibility for the cookies.

cookies

Of course we have to sample some of the goods– quality control and all that. I think this is going to be a great tradition.

Winter Park

Yesterday was an awesome ski day. I headed up to Winter Park with a group of friends and we had a great time. The weather was amazing, the snow was just right, and I didn’t slash Mark’s leg with my ski like last year…

winter-park-1

On the way home we just had to stop at Beau Jo’s in Idaho Springs. It’s definitely the coolest old-hotel-turned-restaurant around.

winter-park-2

Everest

We just watched this.

everest_movie_poster

Good stuff. It sure makes me not want to climb Everest.

Index the crap out of it!

There’s something satisfying about seeing a particularly complicated database query’s execution time go from 0.7 seconds to 0.02 seconds. I’m working on a tricky report for a client whose database has tens of millions of rows, and I was becoming frustrated with the sluggish queries. So I sat down and started looking at the query, testing its performance, until I saw a couple of fields that I could index. I ran a few commands to do so, and BAM, it sped up by a factor of almost 40.

A wise man (I think it was Brian) once told me that the solution to most database query performance problems is to “index the crap out of it”. So true.

60 in February

I couldn’t let a sunny 60-degree day in February go to waste. I joined five die-hard friends in a game of Durango boot (a variation on ultimate) at lunchtime today. We played on a slushy, snowy field, and 15 minutes into the game none of us could feel our toes any more. But we were slipping and sliding and having a great time. Ahh, February in Colorado…

Hun

I thought there was some kind of law that says the only people who can call me “hun” are women over the age of 60. Coming from a matronly older woman, it’s kind of an endearing term. Coming from the 20-something sandwich artist at Subway today, it somehow seemed wrong.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Today I was driving and my tire pressure light came on. Sigh. It does this about every two weeks, and I drive over to the nearest gas station and fill up the tire again. It costs a dollar in quarters every time, but I figure it’s cheaper than buying a new tire.

I returned home, parked in the garage, and as I was heading into the house I heard a hissing sound. Looking more closely, it was that same tire… hissing as the air escaped at a steady rate. Sigh.

So I drove over to the local Tires Plus and asked them to plug it. They told me they’d call me with an update. A few minutes after I returned home, they called to say there was a huge nail in the tire and it wasn’t reparable. I’d have to replace the tire. Sigh.

Well, you never replace just one tire– you need to do at least a pair. I asked about that, and he said, “All of your tires are pretty much bald. You should replace all of them.” Since it’s winter, and in fact snowing pretty heavily today, I suppose it makes sense. So sure, go ahead and replace all four tires. Sigh.

“Oh, and by the way, your alignment is way off.” How much is that? Another $150 for an alignment today and for the rest of the lifetime of the car (actually not a bad deal). Without the alignment, the tires will wear unevenly and all sorts of other bad things. I suppose I also won’t be able to drive on I-70 through Kansas without touching the steering wheel. So sure, let’s align everything too. Sigh.

$800 later, I walked out of the shop. All because of a nail.

On a humorous note, “that escalated quickly” reminded me of the old “I saw a spider” meme:

there-was-a-spider-i-panicked