Dirk's Views | Ask Dirk | Home
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Dirk's Views | Ask Dirk | Home |
When considering a candidate for President, one of the most useful barometers of that person's qualifications and potential for leadership is public opinion. Please take a moment to see what a cross-section of America thinks about Dirk.
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"I think Dirk is a great guy. Since my accident I sometimes
don't remember some stuff, but I remember Dirk. He's smart.
And stuff. Hey, can you gimme a hand with this helmet?"
Matthew Green, Hoboken NJ |
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"When my mom told me Dirk was gonna be President,
I peed my pants."
Randy Pinkerton, Atlanta, GA |
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"Even though I live out in the sticks, I know Dirk'll
take care of me. He's always lookin' out for people like me."
Ted Quincy, Heber UT |
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"All I gotta say is, can this Dirk guy promise me the
hot dog vendors'll stop rippin' me off? Man, that really
makes me mad."
Pete Gonzales, New York, NY |
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"Dirk cares about corporate interests. As the CEO of a
Fortune 500 company, it's important to me that the President
remember where all of his campaign money came from. I'll be
needing some tax breaks and federal disaster relief funding
for something, and I know I can count on Dirk to deliver."
Frank Johnson, Chicago IL |
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"People are always telling me I look like Hillary Clinton,
so they think I know a lot about politics. All I know is, that
Dirk guy is a real crack up. If it's between him and that other
guy, I'll vote for him."
Gretchen Perry, Missoula MT |
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"Dirk told me he's gonna organize a nationwide video game
convention when he's President, and I can finally show everybody
that I'm the champion of Ms. Pac Man. Then they'll stop laughing,
that's for sure."
Wesley Nader, Albany NY |
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"Dirk cares about the special interest groups, and he knows
that's where the real voting power is.
Me and the Association of Fat Bearded
Hairy-Chested Flannel-Wearing Couch Potatoes are gonna vote for
him."
Chuck Anderson, Las Vegas NV |
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"I hope when I grow up I'm just like Dirk.
I'm trying real hard now. My mom says I need to be
a little bit geekier, though."
Gerard Waczensky, Enid, OK |
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"Man, Dirk and I used to hang out in the 'hood.
I still remember the time he got busted by those cops
'cause he had the stash in the back of his Duster.
Dude, that car was a rolling drug mobile.
Yer not recording this stuff, are you?"
Jack Delancy, Los Angeles, CA |
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"Dirk can be my First Lady any time."
Robbie Stevenson, Trinidad, CO |
© 2002 Citizens for Dirk for President. Don't laugh. We're serious. No, really.