Brownies must be healthy

Laralee just had some eggs for breakfast, and they apparently weren’t “sitting well” with her, so she walked into my office eating a huge brownie. I asked about it, and she said:

“… I had a brownie to make my stomach feel better.”

My wife, who’s into organic free-range non-GMO non-pesticide low-fat low-carb healthy foods, just said that. It seemed blog-worthy.

Well, this blows

Tomorrow evening is ultimate league, and NOAA doesn’t have good news for us:

Windy, with a northwest wind 21 to 26 mph decreasing to 11 to 16 mph after midnight. Winds could gust as high as 37 mph.

I can’t think of many sports that are so heavily affected by wind… I guess competitive kite-flying depends on a good stiff breeze, but otherwise, wind just isn’t good. It should make for interesting games. I expect the scores to be things like 1-2.

The ‘fro had to go

Zaque’s hair is unlike anyone else’s in the family– it has a lot of body, and when he just lets it grow unfettered, it turns into a curly mass on the top of his head. The other day he admitted that it might be getting a little long.

Yeah, almost 2 inches… and that’s with it sort of matted down.

I offered to cut it for him, but he decided Mom would be best. So Laralee took the trimmers and shaved off at least an inch all around. The result actually looks pretty similar, but trust me when I say it’s half the hair he used to have:

The next day, it was funny to hear several of the girls in my seminary class commenting about how they liked his “new hairstyle”. Of course there was nothing new about it– it was just shorter. He pretends not to care about the opinions of the girls, but come on, he’s a sixteen-year-old boy…

Proud dad

It’s fun to see people commenting about all the good things Kyra is doing on her mission…

What an awesome girl. This must be one of those “proud dad” moments…

Ow my eye

On Saturday I was doing some demolition work in a friend’s basement, banging away at some carpet tack strips, and a little piece of the tack strip (or something) shot up and hit me in the eyeball. It didn’t hurt, but it left a nice bloody mark on my left eye. This is a day later, when it was already looking better:

… And that’s why we wear eye protection, kids.

I love this sport

Yesterday I went to my usual game of lunchtime pickup ultimate, but remained on the sidelines due to a neck injury that I didn’t want to aggravate. I brought my camera, along with a telephoto lens, and had some fun taking pictures of the action.

A new Yoda-ism

I’m a fan of much of what Yoda says. From The Last Jedi comes another good one:

Pass on what you have learned. Strength. Mastery. Hmph. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all.

The greatest teacher, failure is.

Sayonara, alarm

Ahh, spring break is upon us! It was nice last night to be able to turn off my daily alarm…

I get a week of sleeping in (luxury!) before going back to my regular schedule. Party!

Mystery muffins

Last night I made some muffins at home, and this morning I brought them to the office. I mentioned it on Slack, our internal chat tool:

jeff [09:15] Blueberry + chocolate chip muffins in the break room. Don’t ask about why.
ben [09:16] You know that I just want to ask now
ben [09:16] I wouldn’t have otherwise
cody [09:17] shifty muffins are my favorite muffins
ben [09:21]

[SCENE: INTERIOR CLASS ROOM, EARLY MORNING]
Jeff: Good morning class, I brought muffins for you today because I am kind, wise and generous!!
Perky Student: Thanks Mr. Schroeder, I love muffins!
Full Mouth Student: What kndt ff mffns rr dey sweader?
Jeff: Blueberry and Chocolate!
Full Mouth Student: [DED]
Perky Student: [SCREAMING] He had a deadly blueberry allergy!!
Jeff [INTERNAL MONOLOGUE]: I guess I have another one on my conscience. At least I can bring these to my loyal staff at work. I hope no one asks why.

Well played, Ben, well played.

(The full story is that I have a young woman in my seminary class who’s allergic to enriched flour, so I buy a muffin mix that doesn’t contain it, and bake a few muffins for her whenever we have food in class. She requested chocolate chips, and even when I said it was a blueberry mix and that would be weird, she insisted it was good stuff. So I made them, brought them to class, and… she didn’t show up. Hence, the office.)

Best Ever

Back at UMR, the annual St. Patrick’s Day festivities were always advertised as “The Best Ever”. I guess every year was an improvement over the last, for almost ninety years in a row. I have some great stories about the shillelaghs, Follies, duty rounds, and of course Alice. Yesterday was a nice day, so Laralee and I headed out for a walk and I grabbed my “green”:

Funny that I still have my collection of sweatshirts (eight years’ worth) and can wear them twenty years later…

St. Pat’s

Laralee bought me a shamrock plant for St. Patrick’s Day!

Am I the only one around here who didn’t even know there was such a thing as a shamrock plant? I thought shamrocks were those teensy little clover things…

Boom

I just tried to launch the latest version of Firefox.

(firefox:4578): GLib-ERROR **: gmem.c:100: failed to allocate 18446744073271633382 bytes

That’s a lot of bytes.

Bookends

Driving to my ultimate league games last night, I saw a beautiful sunset.

Interestingly, I’d also seen a beautiful sunrise in the morning! (I didn’t take a picture.)

It’s nice to have gorgeous bookends on a great day.

I used to be cool?

I saw this in traffic today:

“I used to be cool”

It seems like a strange sentiment to me. I say if you think you’re cool, you’re cool. Fortunately for me, I’m cool.

Going once, going twice

A few days ago, we received a flyer in the mail advertising a PUBLIC AUCTION OF SEIZED ASSETS FROM LAW VIOLATORS. It included tiny photos of a bunch of fancy artwork and jewelry and, of course, a smattering of Rolex watches with names like “The Presidential”.

Yesterday we didn’t really have anything to do in the morning, so we decided to bike across town to the country club where the auction was being held. We’d never been to an auction, especially for SEIZED ASSETS FROM LAW VIOLATORS, so it seemed like it would be interesting. Sure enough, the guy running the show was pretty chatty and entertaining as he prepared to start the auction. The room was actually packed– I was surprised to see so many people there. La and I walked around and admired some of the stuff.

There were a lot of bronze sculptures, ranging in size from the kind of thing you set on the coffee table to the ones you put in your front yard.

She said she liked this painting, which was doubtless by someone I’ve never heard of:

Finally it was time to start, and the guy launched into his spiel about the history of these items. I was interested to hear that many of the works of art came from, in his words, “one of the biggest art heists in recent history” somewhere in Los Angeles. What doesn’t make sense to me is why they didn’t just give the art back to the original owners after they recovered it from the heist. But anyway, he did his best to generate some excitement and interest around completely unknown artists.

We stayed for maybe 20 minutes, just to see how it went. There were a few breathtaking necklaces– and by “breathtaking” I mean “wow that’s a lot of diamonds and sapphires, but my wife would never wear something like that”. The most expensive item someone bid on was a necklace for $6,500… a different one that was apparently worth $37,000 retail had a starting price (“reserve” as they say in the business) of $19,000 but no one bid on it.

So all in all, it was a fun little experience. Now we know what an auction is like, and we also know what sorts of things we’d never buy for our house.

Catchy

If La ever writes her health book, it’ll be called (quoting her words) Drink More Water, Eat Less Crap.

Bleah

Things I don’t want to be when I grow up:

1. A plumber

Wobsite

The other day I was collaborating with a friend on some financial reports, and he sent me this message:

I’ll push the report to the wobsite today.

For some reason the misspelling made me chuckle, so I made a little graphic just for him.

And for some reason my little graphic made me laugh uncontrollably. Laralee always says I’m the biggest fan of my humor. Yeah, yeah. But hey, if you can’t make yourself laugh, what’s the use of clever wit?